“LISTEN”

The second part to the “Purge” series. 


 

Terrible nightmares, the rare kind
are normal
For people who have seen them come true
Before they even dreamt them.

I’m woken up everyday at exactly 5 am
It’s like my body knows when the monsters come
Like it knows: the unwanted touch
Like it knows: the bleeding wound
Like it knows: the bruises
Like it knows: screams crawling into my skin
Like it knows: exactly where all the scars are.

After I wake
My heat rattles like a wooden toolbox
too big for the number of nails inside it.
My hands tremble, I say, “Hush!
You’re braver than this!”
I say, “Hush! Allah is here.”
I say, “How much of this will be real?”
I say, “We don’t know yet but
lets hope not too much.”

I say,
“You are not alone.”

But, you!
Do you have tears in your eyes yet?
I know you’re there too.
I know you’re just like me.
So listen closely, to
what I’m about to tell you:

The abusers
The rapists
And the liars
Cannot put out the fires
We’ve lit inside our bones.
They make the world bright
They make the culprits burn!
175 years in prison
or 175 million, in hell.

And sometimes, they hurt…
When we don’t want them.

But, honey! Want them!
For they are your recompense
Your own personal miracle.

They are your soul, lit!
Lit enough to light others,
Lit enough to make an example
out of how lit you are
Damn, girl!/
Damn, boy!/
Damn, self!
You are lit!
And I adore you for it.

It is time that you did too.

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“UNDONE”

I held a little red brick
In my little kid arms
And I walked on, miles
till the sun came down.
And I did this for days
little labour it looked like
that a little kid bore
But I built a palace
like never seen before.
Then one night came spring
It knocked on the gate
I welcomed it in
But it left the next day.
And I glanced up at the tower
Where I’d lived so long
And what fell in my feet
Was a little red brick.
One by one
they tumbled down
And the walls of my palace,
like broken doors now.
To the gardens I ran,
only to find
that little red dewdrops
now covered the green.
Confused and disheartened,
I turned around
Glanced at my chest,
and pain I found
Flowing in the form
of a swift red river.

The “dewdrops” had not come from the sky
And the bricks had not fallen from the towers
But my castle had crumbled down
And my blood had washed it away;
Just little red bricks
In a swift red river;
Leading into an endless sea.

“Weeps December”

Weeps my heart and weeps December

I hope that you will always remember 

The pearl you held in your palm, white

Back when our fire burned bright

I wonder when it burned us both

Ought to give warmth, but turned us both

Into strangers, running on parallel paths

Through the moon’s eclipse and the night’s wrath

Oh when will the stars come out again?

Oh when will the dawn of hope begin? 

I will meet you then, at the first sunrise

Where the abyss collides with paradise

I’ll show my book of adventures to you

And you’ll find your home, with my chaos too

’til it’s calm like the breeze your soul brings 

And we shall be made of beautiful things

But first, oh love, we must get through

The trials fate birthed, maybe to prove

The strength of our faith in what we hold

How brave we are and just how bold

Let the season weep! We shall endure

In the end, our hearts will have only loved more.


(Fun fact: I came up with the first verse of this poem 8 months ago, in December; and didn’t want to change that just now when I wrote the rest of it. Hope you liked it! :))

“HOME”

(Disclaimer: Not a traditional poem but I think it’s closer to the spoken word poetry category)


“HOME”

Decade, upon decade; I tell fate
Being loved by strangers catches me off guard,
Surprises me- “Is this what it is supposed to feel like?”
Is it really like they show in the movies?
Sisters, brothers, fathers and mothers
Is home really just people, who know and even care
about which side of the bed you like most.

Oh, I wouldn’t know, so don’t ask me how.
The only home that I have ever felt
lives outside of my house.
Out there, separated; from my blood.
Because on the genetic code map in these cells,
somehow, home was never marked.

I am sorry, dear home, for getting scared so easily
Not knowing where to go when you are not in my sights.
For I am still learning, how to receive all this love
that you so freely give me
As though I am actually as amazing as you say.

I try to hold on to the little amount these walls taught
Here, love was hiding and shutting up.
But then again, you are not like these walls.
You are kinder and you care.
You actually know which side of the seat I like most,
and how I sleep talk or “sleep type” sometimes.

I chuckle, and then sigh as I walk back inside
and these walls are still as cruel as before I met you.
I’m about to whisper to fate:
“Please make this stop, before I forget how to give love too.”
But I don’t, I can’t.
Cause you’re looking right at me
Smiling across the room.

And we both know, we finally understand
this is what home feels like.

“MIRACLES”

Miracles are not always loud and close.

Not always mountains that crumble to the ground
or ships that sail with high winds against them.

No, no, no.

In all actuality, miracles are often found
sipping coffee in the background
as you scream and fight with your fate.

They are waiting for you to stop for a moment and look around.

And many a times, they come to you
but you are too large-eyed to look at something that seems so small.

Your belittling drives them away.

But friend, if only you knew how many miracles touched you
on just how many rainy days;

you would not have been feeling so alone.
There just was no way.


Somewhat poetic, somewhat random. Mostly just fragments from a coffee-driven brain. ^-^ Hope you liked it!

“TRANSCENDENCE”

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Image source

“TRANSCENDENCE”

Strange faces in an even stranger town!
You pull up your cloak to conceal your crown
This place is no shelter for people of wonder
If ever, they existed, they were pushed down under

How long have you lived in a land unknown?
Do you dream of stars, or do you call it home?
Do you hide your light to fit in to the dark
That surrounded you always, with only hints of sparks

But do you not know that it is your scintillation,
That has kept you pure amidst abominations?
Don’t you know this silent rebellion of yours,
Has kept the wounded from bleeding any more?

I am no angel but a chaser of light
Sometimes it withers, sometimes it is bright!
I am friends with your monsters, and you are with mine
And we shall transcend together to a land divine. 

“YOU FOR ME, ME FOR YOU”

A NEW POEM! (Finally)

This one is for the once in a lifetime kind of friends. They’re the best because they make you the best version of yourselves. :’) So Alhamdulillah for them.


“YOU FOR ME, ME FOR YOU”

When I tremble at the sound
Of thunder crackling all around

Or times when within me it pounds
And peace is nowhere to be found

You smile standing amidst the chaos
I look to you and take a pause
Your voice all of a sudden, draws
Me back, away from panic’s claws

You tell me of my dragon wings
That have fought against the strongest winds
You tell me of wondrous, beautiful things
And all the light my kindness brings

I watch with slowly calming breaths
One hand in yours, one over my chest
As water-coloured happiness
Conquers once more, my dull grey mess

So worry not, when dark descends
It’s purpose you can’t comprehend
For I will, love, beside you, stand
And be your light till December’s end

Countless times I’ve seen you prove
No thunder can deter us two
I swear, thus faith, I shan’t ever lose
In you for me, and me for you.