Threads #40

Wrote this just now for my beautiful friend. She is made of sunshine, masha Allah.

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“TO THEM AND TO YOU”

My love will not be an apology:

-I-

It stands tall in the midst of your clenched teeth,
your hissing, snickering laughter
Thought I’d come after
your tantrums about how bad I am treating you.
How selfish,
As I wished
to die so you could live.

If stopping you means locking myself in your cage
I am ready.
To tame the hyena, all I need is a lion heart.
Even if it tears me apart,
I will not let you devour my love.

II

My love, this is not what we’re meant to be.

I will not fall for the games they try to play
I will find a way
for both of us to stay!
Just stay with me.

My love, my very best friend
If this were made to end
It would have fallen apart months ago.
I prayed to God to turn me cold
if this,
if this was made to end.

But me, I am as warm as the midsummer day
when I first learnt how you smell
as warm
as the safety of my palm, beneath your face
When you fell asleep in class

No, honey, this was made to last!
All the way to kingdom come.

I will build anew, 
I will not apologise for loving you.


Hey everyone. Depression is hard these days because circumstances. But I am holding on. I hope you all do too ❤
P.S. you are all welcome to read more of “The Purge Series”, here.

“We do.”

The more I try to run away, the more I spiral down
Treading on eggshells in the very city
where they took away my crown
I’m still unafraid, still terrified
Still clinging on to hope
Sometimes I’m pushed to wonder why
I couldn’t let it go
Why does this spirit never tire
of losing every battle it fights?
The victory comes slow, in small doses
Sometimes only once in a war.

What is the point of carrying your head high,
When there is no body left to hold it?
A dignified corpse;
A walking lost cause-
I am all the things I swore I never was.

And you return cold as ice, from the house they are burning down
The one we had built in a century:
In a single moment of complete and utter truth.

But they broke the windows with boulders made of hopelessness
Catapulting in like grenades;
And they took away our smiles
With the raging burning fire!
So now, we are left standing by.
We wonder how it turned you cold
While I got buried in its ashes.

They are stronger than us, I know
The monsters always are, that’s why we call them monsters.
But you and I, we have more power as one,
Than a thousand lost homes.
Or at least I hope we do.
Because God knows we have tried not to love each other.
But God knows,
We do.

Artist: Stoian Hitrov

“Unwind”

Unwind

Pull open the strings

Of my last piece of clothing

Intertwined,

We laugh under the blanket

High hopes and scented candles

Rewind,

To the first time holding hands

A spark I couldn’t understand

Spellbind,

You always know how to pull me in

Your lips, gentle, on my entire being

Defined,

The trace of your fingers over my skin

The smell of your light sweating

I could write about you

Forevermore.

Two souls, bare,

Forever close.

-x-

Little tiny write-up. First time trying this theme of sensuality. Hope you liked it!

“CRUELTY”- A LOVE STORY

love
Credits

How long will it take you to notice I’m  gone
How long till your heart is emptied out, like your empty arms
This is the last straw, the last firework shot up to the sky
In hopes that someone will see and come find me
I hope they will notice the shivers along my freezing skin
Hopefully they’ll have food and water and a blanket for me

I spent an hour telling myself I’m cruel
And it didn’t matter what you meant, what you said, even
The only voice was the one in my head
Cruel
For being sick
Cruel
For reaching out
Cruel
For putting you through the darkest paths I had to walk on; and you walked with me
Because I loved you and that
Was cruel of me.

But what is the definition of cruelty?

Is it my merciless cry for help
Knowing you cannot save me
Is it wanting you before me
Arms spread out, is it holding you
till you fall asleep?
Oh how cruel I am for loving every inch of you
How cruel that we made us all that we could be
You and I, that was the deal
Forevermore, we were sure
But how cruel are we to never give this up?
Is it cruel to love unconditionally,
in which case, we share the blame equally?

Or is it the wicked one
The shadow whispering from the reckless parts of me
The ones I still can’t control
“I’ll die of this I’m sure”, 
that’s all it says
and I promised I wouldn’t hurt myself
But it tells me I don’t need to, to die.

Just open your eyes! Your soul is gone;
And how long till they know
That when they hold you
Against their hearts
You stop the beating and burn them out?
How long will it take for you
to see the truth:
Nothing you do, matters. Nothing you are, matters.
Do not ever
touch love
ever again.

But they must have been right when they said that love saves your life
Cause all that keeps me alive,
is that I,
I love you,
Endlessly.


(More posts from this series)