“Home To Me”

So recently one of my closest people lost someone they loved a lot. This is for my best friend.


 

Dark room, smell of nothingness
The cold wind touches your face, the same way that love had once done

You’ve seen your light fade,
Slowly
Take a deep breath
You can break down
Oh, you won’t regret
it.

Everything you gave your heart to
left you broken on the side of the pavement
that you painted
with the colour of your love
And everything you had
is coming to its end;

But don’t you give up
don’t look down
not for a second, because

You have still got me
Right by your side
So when you’ve said your goodbyes
Baby, come home to me.

And when the sky is falling down
I’ll be your only cloud-
No promises of a perfect tomorrow-
But I’ll be holding you
safe from the sorrow

So baby, come home to me!

In the dead of the night,
Or when the stars start to shine,
Or when you can’t walk anymore,

Will you run home to me?

The long way home5380_rectangle
credits to owner
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“PARALLELS”

Look at you, looking away
I look above
and the sky has filled itself with grey

Nothing can stop the storm now
I,
have worn myself out,
all over again!

What’s there to mourn
When all that you had
has been washed away?
Maybe it didn’t have to be this way

If only
I had been more wary
Nonchalance has cost me gravely

Everything lost,
Everything gone with the rain
I’m soaking in the remnants
of all that we were
Before it became,

All that we
used to be;
Once upon a May.


Little poem I scribbled on a torn notebook page in class, it’s called cashing out your sadness guys, it has proven really useful :3

An Open Letter

Lately I’ve been looking back on love, the lost kind.

I spent a lot of time blaming myself for falling and staying in love with someone who left as soon as he came… and didn’t care to tell me about it. I felt dirty and used because I had spent a whole year missing, wanting, believing a lie. He had a million chances to tell me how he didn’t want it anymore but he didn’t. He was a coward who kept pretending.

There are two things I hate most in the world: lies and cowardice. Funny how my worst heartbreak (in the lovey dovey category) was a mixture of overwhelming amounts of these two.

Anyways it’s been a year since I confronted him and he owned up to how he had mentally broken up with me a year ago (fucked up, right?) And I’m really happy Alhamdulillah. He was never good enough for me, or to me. Always hid our love from the whole world like I was a sin.

The point of sharing all this with you guys is that sometimes you give something all that you possibly can, and it still goes and stabs you in the back where it hurts most. And that’s okay. It’s not your fault at all. It was only meant to teach you something and it left when you had learnt that. I feel like I hadn’t let go of him even after the confrontation but lately I have been looking back at love, and realizing that it has no lost kind. We only lose the person, not love itself.

As I type this, it’s 11am on a Sunday morning and I’m in bed with amazing weather outside (and within haha). I just finished talking to the person of my dreams who I love more everyday. He makes all my hopes and dreams feel achievable and helps me be more me than I had been in a long time. We make each other grow and he doesn’t ever have to hide that. We have been walking, crawling, soaring through life together for a while now and I’m so glad I made it through the phase where all I could do was doubt and question and question again why I felt happy and how there must be something fundamentally wrong with the universe because I was happy so much of the time and made new friends and got into the academic field of my dreams. I’m so happy that I stayed with him through all of this. And that he kept me sheltered in my worst storms.

Here’s to the people lost, and the life gained. May we all have the courage to get through the most painful chapters of our lives in order to live the most amazing ones. In sha Allah, ameen and bbye for now ❤