Read more ‘Threads’.
Read more Threads
They said you were gone
But I looked for you anyway
Found you in the cracks
Of the doors to heaven
Now I don’t want to go
back, where I don’t belong
Keep our song on
And let’s run away from this winter
Spend the rest our lives
In a never ending spring
What do you say, darling?
Will you run away with me?
Little poem I just wrote 🙂 Sprinkling your life with some positive feels. Here I go!
How long will it take you to notice I’m gone
How long till your heart is emptied out, like your empty arms
This is the last straw, the last firework shot up to the sky
In hopes that someone will see and come find me
I hope they will notice the shivers along my freezing skin
Hopefully they’ll have food and water and a blanket for me
I spent an hour telling myself I’m cruel
And it didn’t matter what you meant, what you said, even
The only voice was the one in my head
For being sick
For reaching out
For putting you through the darkest paths I had to walk on; and you walked with me
Because I loved you and that
Was cruel of me.
But what is the definition of cruelty?
Is it my merciless cry for help
Knowing you cannot save me
Is it wanting you before me
Arms spread out, is it holding you
till you fall asleep?
Oh how cruel I am for loving every inch of you
How cruel that we made us all that we could be
You and I, that was the deal
Forevermore, we were sure
But how cruel are we to never give this up?
Is it cruel to love unconditionally,
in which case, we share the blame equally?
Or is it the wicked one
The shadow whispering from the reckless parts of me
The ones I still can’t control
“I’ll die of this I’m sure”,
that’s all it says
and I promised I wouldn’t hurt myself
But it tells me I don’t need to, to die.
“Just open your eyes! Your soul is gone;
And how long till they know
That when they hold you
Against their hearts
You stop the beating and burn them out?
How long will it take for you
to see the truth:
Nothing you do, matters. Nothing you are, matters.
Do not ever
But they must have been right when they said that love saves your life
Cause all that keeps me alive,
is that I,
I love you,
The battle gets harder everyday
But I hold on to stay
Here, for you
You can clearly see
the crumblimg pieces of me
Look back and you’ll find I’m right here
Where we left off
I just can’t seem to know who I am
Fading out of view
Are the memories of me and you
And they say there’s nothing wrong
They can take this war; take my share of pain
And tell me how does it feel, feeling it’s real
Having no proof.
So this is for all of you
I may be lost and God knows I am
I hope you stay till I find my way back home
Am I becoming repetitive? Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking about that when writing this down is helping me fight for my life but hey you can tell me if I should or should not post things like these? Thank you, love you. 🙂
This is the second poem in my life that I’ve written for someone else; usually my poems are about personal experience and feelings. But this human being has been extremely kind to me since the day he discovered my writing and I have learnt so much from him as a person and as a writer. To you, I know it feels impossible right now, but just you wait. Wait till I see you,
Remember this moment,
No crown, no jewels, no pretty dresses
Just the smell of heaven in your breath
The rays of sunshine dancing on your skin
You bite your lip and smile
When was the last time you got to get shy?
Remember this, paint it
over your heart!
can take this away.
Damn, that felt good. I would say I’m sorry for making you read that but I’m really not. I wanted to show you what anxiety and depression look like and I was in it when it was the only reality I could see so I don’t want to apologise.
Now, to the “beautiful saviors” themselves, the mental illnesses.
but you’ve lived inside of me
For more years than I can count
And I don’t want to accidentally say I hate myself.
Come on, you already made me do that
nine thousand and two times
(not counting accidents).
You say you’re here to protect me from all the abhorrent people
but they seem to me, to be
the ones who birthed you within me
And now you want me to be the surrogate carrier?
I’m sorry but I don’t love you that way
Or them, for that matter.
You’re not here to save me
from anyone but myself.
And I’m the only good thing I know
I don’t want to be safe from my best friend,
Or my mom
Or even the boy who left,
These are my loves.
You can’t twist them and break me
and take them away.
I know I fell for your tricks
and that should make me less than you
I am strong as hell.
And you can watch me someday,
spreading all the love I have in me,
today. And so can they.
For my heart will forever be open
Even if it’s scared to fall in love again
Even when it can’t trust people
or want to make my own bed
or pray to my Allah.
You won the battle last night,
and I am going to have to carry these scars on my arms
as proofs, forever.
I’m winning the war.