“THE PICTURE OF ME”

Depression is a dish best served cold:

When the remnants of hope have become frozen icicles
on the porch ceiling
When the sun has stopped trying to shine through
When the day looks like night
and the night looks like death
When your demons are free to howl
As wolves on a frozen mountain top.

And in that ice-cold, post-apocalyptic, abandoned town
You still live.

Can you imagine the what power runs through you
When you use your own warmth to melt every piece of ice?
Each wolf runs terrified of the fire in your chest
You turn the sun into a lamp and burn it with oil made from your (un)dying hope.

So can you imagine what power runs through me
There is no moving out of here.

-x-

Hello. I finally wrote the next part of The Purge Series. This is, embracing the reality of living with depression and being proud of yourself for making it all the way here.

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“WONDROUS” (Part 3 and final)

heyyaaa loves. 😀 I know I’m too excited haha but my exams have finished and half of me feels like I CAN DO ANYTHING IN THE WORLD NOW! So I decided that the fact that I owe you all this, is more important than any other fun thing I might have on my mind. As this is the last part of “Wondrous”, I just want you to know that imagining this was one of the best feelings of my life and I hope that reading it proves to be one of yours. If not best, then, well, fairly delightful. 😛

Read part 1
Read part 2

Here is the last bit of the previous part, to freshen up your memory:

So we just stay there side by side, and watch them, awe-struck. They swing to and fro and we yearn to touch them when they surround us, but we stay still so as to not scare them away. I give Harry a glance and smile- who knew that someone else, someone I was unlikely to ever even know of, being a different kind of species, for crying out loud, could adore the same thing I adored? Little by little, the fireflies move upwards forming a triangular shape, with their queen, I assume, at the very top and start to leave the cave through a half-foot large hole in the roof. After the last one of them is gone, I hear myself exhaling deeply, as if I had held my breath the whole time.

                                                                          x-x-x

”Did you like it?” he asks.
”I loved it.” I say.
”Yeah me too.”
”It reminded me of stars you know. And this whole trip actually. The sea is truly as majestic as an endless starry sky.”

At that, he turned to me, all wide eyed and curious. ”Tell me more?”
”Wait, you mean to say that you’ve never seen the night sky?” I exclaim, of sorts.
”No. I live here. There’s no sky here. I’ve only ever been to the surface twice or thrice.”
”I have to show you then.” I announce, getting up, pulling him along.”Is there something else left to see here?”
”No, it’s time for you to be taken back I think. Let’s call the whale so it can carry you up…” There’s a strange detachment in his voice as he looks down and speaks softly.
”You know what? Why not you take me?” I am not going to leave without showing you the stars any way.”

It seems like he’s trying to understand if I’m joking or not. I shrug. He finally decides to believe me and says, ”Alright then. Come on!”, beaming.

And so we exit the cave, finding a few creatures outside, waiting for us. Harry tells the kind whale about our plan to go by ourselves. Fortunately she doesn’t seem to mind. I hug everyone goodbye, even the boulder (I have a tendency to like hugging inanimate objects), take a deep breath, and a fulfilling look around. I am trying to memorise as much of this feeling as I possibly can, to replay on rainy days. ”I’m ready.” I finally say.

”Do you want to swim without my help now?”, Harry asks, with a mischievous look.
”Yeah I’d like that. But we can’t really acheive that can we? I mean being stuck and all”, I reply.
”Are you sure?” Still the look lingers, now accompanied with a smile.
I shrug again, and he just pulls away. Just like that, leaving me open-mouthed.

”You KNEW how to do that!?”
”Yeah. It’s my body isn’t it? Of course I did.”
”Oh my god! You’re the worst you know that?” I laugh, shaking my head. He giggles too.

With that last wave of sudden bliss, only one of the many that I, and everybody, experiences with friends, we swim towards the surface. I’m thinking how much I will miss every part of this, as we hurry towards the dim light of the moon, penetrating the surface of the sea, reaching us looking like a portal to heaven. Sure we are going to see my other favourite thing in the world, and if I were to narrate that experience too- witnessing a newbie embracing the elegance of the sky, like he did with me and the sea- I am sure I will require another 10 pages, but I know I will never forget the last seven hours of my life, and will always be more than grateful, and more than eager to come back any time my life decides to be this wondrous again.

“WONDROUS” (Part 2)

Below is the second part of an imaginative narration/story that I wrote a while ago, and wanted you to see. I know I posted part 1 like 20 days ago and that’s a lot of waiting between two parts, I apologise for it 😛 But you should know that the next (last) part will come after 20 days too. I have exams starting THIS TUESDAY. Any ways. Just wanted to post this for you amazing people. Enjoy. 🙂
If you want to read all of the previous part, go here, otherwise, here is the last bit, to freshen up your memory 😛

”You say you have never been here before?” An unfamiliar voice asks.
I turn around and see a squid, as blue as the evening sky, with a pattern of red and yellow dots all over his body, and my jaw drops open at the 2 metre long creature’s grace as he stands there; I’m so lost that I almost forget to answer his question.

x-x-x

”Umm yes. I mean no, I haven’t”. My voice is sort of trembling for some reason, maybe I’m suddenly terrified, but I relax a bit after he reaches out to shake my hand with his tentacle.

”Pleasure to make your acquaintance then! The name’s Harry.”
”Nice to meet you too, Harry, I’m Maria.”
”Are you sure that’s your real name?”
”Why would it not be?”
”Hmm. Come along then, we’ve got much to see.”

With that, he starts swimming swiftly and I realize that I’m swimming too, as my hand is still stuck to his tentacle. I don’t try to pull away though, because I don’t want to get lost in the vastness of the ocean.
We swim far and wide, and I don’t even realize how many miles we have left behind us, as I’m too mesmerised the whole time by the hundreds of large, little, soft, spiky, coloured and transparent creatures and plants that surround our path. Harry, from time to time, tells me about many of them, and I listen, with all my attention because I do not want to miss a single word of this. I actually am holding the tentacle now, despite having not just my hand any more but my whole arm stuck to it (long story we bumped into a school of jellyfish on the way and I was trying not to be electrocuted so we had to swim really close, really stealthily). It feels like a new, amazing friendship with the coolest squid in town and surprisingly, I’m not even frightened of the sharks when we pass by them, as long as this being is there to swim me through.

After what seems like hours, we arrive at a large mountain of sorts, and I see a narrow opening at it’s front. Harry motions at me to help him remove a boulder that’s blocking our way in. ”What is this place?” I ask him. ”You’ll see, just trust me,” he says without looking. I am really curious about what the cave holds inside, so I dart in, as soon as we’ve moved the boulder. ”It’s too dark to see anything,” I exclaim and Harry, instead of listening, just shuts the opening again. Confused, I look around and suddenly spot a little light floating in the corner. A second later, I see another one light up beside it, and then another. ”What are those?” I ask Harry in a low voice. ”Shush. Just watch,” he replies with a whisper. Apparently these pretty little things aren’t too fond of light and noise. So I shut my mouth and lend my eyes back to the corner and I’m astonished to see that instead of just three, there are now around a hundred of these lights, all arranged in beautifully imbalanced patterns, as if a light show were going on.

”What’s that word? Yes, ‘fireflies’ of the ocean. My personal favourites,” Harry finally explains.
I cover my mouth with my fingers just in time, as a gasp escapes leaving behind the widest smile I can muster. Is it a co-incidence that I happen to be in love with real fireflies from woods and forests? I don’t know. But I cannot even begin to tell you how attractive they are, dancing in front of us, yet unaware of our presence.

So we just stay there side by side, and watch them, awe-struck. They swing to and fro and we yearn to touch them when they surround us, but we stay still so as to not scare them away. I give Harry a glance and smile- who knew that someone else, someone I was unlikely to ever even know of, being a different kind of species, for crying out loud, could adore the same thing I adored? Little by little, the fireflies move upwards forming a triangular shape, with their queen, I assume, at the very top and start to leave the cave through a half-foot large hole in the roof. After the last one of them is gone, I hear myself exhaling deeply, as if I had held my breath the whole time.

“WONDROUS” (Part 1)

This is the first part of a story/imaginary narration, that I have been wanting you to see. A friend gave me the idea and I wrote it. 😛 I know it probably needs more editing but it’s my first official post of this genre so I hope you enjoy it, and give me tips on how to make it better. Part 2 and 3 will come soon too. They are already written, and I just need to add a few finishing touches and then they’ll be here! 🙂 Love you guys! ❤

I stand on the shore with the sand soft beneath my bare feet. The waves come rushing towards me, then hurry back, over and over. I listen to the sound they make and the seagulls that fly above them and I think to myself, ”What would I give for a chance to go deep deep down underwater, where nobody knows I exist, and just get lost. Swim wildly, scream, laugh out loud, do everything I ever wanted to do!”

Alas! My thoughts are interrupted by the sight of a large body in the water, coming right at me at full speed. Puzzled, I take a few steps back as it’s face reaches a spot about twenty metres ahead of mine, and stops. ”Oh my god! Wow!” I squeal, when I realise it’s a whale.

”Are you the one who just wished for a trip to the bottom of the ocean?”, the whale asks. Yes, asks, like speaks.
”Umm yeah…” My voice is half scared, half as excited as a newly hatched chick.
”Well, hop on then, love! What are you still standing there for?”

And I obey. I walk through the shallowness of the ocean until it isn’t shallow any more and there I hold the whale’s fin and climb up it’s rather slobbery body. ”All good?”, she asks me. I bite my lip. And I’m sure I’m going to slip right off when she leaps into the air and then falls back into the water; but I don’t, and down we go.

She swims and swims, and I gaze and gaze, at everything that we pass by. I swear I cannot even breathe properly any more- not because I’m underwater, that doesn’t seem to be a problem at all- but because the sea is so much more beautiful than I thought it would be. The ambience made of pretty creatures, wild colours and unique sounds feels as wonderful as learning to walk for the first time.

The water is purple now, as we reach near the bottom, and suddenly the whale lands on the sea bed, ever so gently, but I still feel a thud. ”You can get off now”, she tells me. I let go of the fins and slide down, patting her side as I walk to the front of her enormous face. ”Thank you for bringing me here”, I whisper, planting a kiss between her eyes, then let go. Turning around, I notice a sponge fish, looking like he is waiting for me. But I ignore him and take a deep breath. The smell of the water is beyond amazing- just the right touch of salt and magic.

As I’m walking through and admiring the corals on the sea bed, the sponge fish calls me near. I obey again, because who wouldn’t listen to a talking sponge fish at the bottom of the ocean?
”Welcome dear miss, what might you like us to show you, out of all the wonders of this land?” he asks.
”Whatever you please, sir, I’ve never been here before, I’d be madly excited to see anything at all.”

”You say you have never been here before?” An unfamiliar voice asks.
I turn around and see a squid, as blue as the evening sky, with a pattern of red and yellow dots all over his body, and my jaw drops open at the 2 metre long creature’s grace as he stands there; I’m so lost that I almost forget to answer his question.


That’s all for today! 😀 Hope you had a good time reading! I surely loved writing it, you see I love the ocean too much. See you soon!