“MIRACLES”

Miracles are not always loud and close.

Not always mountains that crumble to the ground
or ships that sail with high winds against them.

No, no, no.

In all actuality, miracles are often found
sipping coffee in the background
as you scream and fight with your fate.

They are waiting for you to stop for a moment and look around.

And many a times, they come to you
but you are too large-eyed to look at something that seems so small.

Your belittling drives them away.

But friend, if only you knew how many miracles touched you
on just how many rainy days;

you would not have been feeling so alone.
There just was no way.


Somewhat poetic, somewhat random. Mostly just fragments from a coffee-driven brain. ^-^ Hope you liked it!

“Imaan, Umeed aur Mohabbat”

Pehle imaan phir imaan se umeed aur umeed se mohabbat.

Kahin parha tha ke muhabbat insan ko Khuda tak lejati hai- na mile tab bhi, mil jaye tab bhi. Lekin ye na bataya ke jab apni khud gharz se khud gharz mohabbaton mai bhi Khuda nazar anay lage, tou samajh jao ke khalqat nahi, Khaliq se dil jorr liya hai.

Kaaba ke darwazay pe bethe hum, ankhen kia poora wujood ashkbaar! Aur wujood ke har zarre se aik hi naam ki awaz aye, goya zindagi dour khari mazak urra rahi ho, ke bolo! Maang lo usay? Is se ziada Khuda ke aur kia kareeb hona? Lekin zaat aur zaban ne wujood ki aik na suni. Wohi multazim, wohi ansoo, wohi hum. Par naam na liya. Keh diya Khuda se ke jo Apko behtareen lagay wo ata karden. Ab maaddi cheezon ka kia? Koi farq nahi parta.

Shayad dil mai mohabbat Khuda hi daalta hai isi liye ehsas hota hai ke agar Khuda chahe tou aik nahi, das baar mohabbat chor den. Apne toote huay tukron aur jurri hui izzat ko le ke wahin ja bethen. Usi ke dar pe. Aur phir ro ro ke kahen, “sirf Allah, sirf Allah, sirf Allah!” Ab koi bulaaye zindagi ko tou hum bhi ankhon mai ankhen daal kar poochen, ke dekh, ay haqeer o na cheez, dekh! Yehi hai na wo imaan jiska tu ne imtehan lena tha? Ab jis imaan ki bina par hum saari dunya mai naak charhaye phirte hain, dekhen bhi tou sahi ke kia hai us imaan ki taaqat?!

Jab mohabbat sachi hoti hai tou Khuda se dour nahi le jati. Khuda hi ki taraf se tou dil mai utri hoti hai, kabhi azmaish tou kabhi sukun ban kar. Tou le le tu imtehan, jitna lena hai. Dekh lena, jeet hamesha imaan ki hi hogi. Chahe hanste muskurate ya kaleja kaat kar, hum imaan ko nahi haarne denge.

Ab zindagi hi nahi, mohabbat bhi dekhe gi, ke mohabbat ki kese jati hai.


Hello everyone!  I hope you liked that. It had been long since I wrote in Urdu so I personally enjoyed this post a lot! I would like to give a shout out to Shoaib whose Urdu prose series, one of my most favourite things ever written, is the major inspiration for the style of writing here (although this hasn’t even come close to his level).

Have a lovely day, week, month and life. Until next time! ^-^

Threads #29

“I don’t think we should restrict our love to only humans that prove themselves to us. 

Instead, we ought to keep and give love to all that has even a little bit of life in it. 

For the universe, my friend, has it’s own special way of loving us right back.”

Read more “Threads

“TRANSCENDENCE”

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Image source

“TRANSCENDENCE”

Strange faces in an even stranger town!
You pull up your cloak to conceal your crown
This place is no shelter for people of wonder
If ever, they existed, they were pushed down under

How long have you lived in a land unknown?
Do you dream of stars, or do you call it home?
Do you hide your light to fit in to the dark
That surrounded you always, with only hints of sparks

But do you not know that it is your scintillation,
That has kept you pure amidst abominations?
Don’t you know this silent rebellion of yours,
Has kept the wounded from bleeding any more?

I am no angel but a chaser of light
Sometimes it withers, sometimes it is bright!
I am friends with your monsters, and you are with mine
And we shall transcend together to a land divine. 

Beautiful Things.

I promised myself I would post more, right after I wrote this which kinda explains why I was so lost for so much time. So I looked through the memos in my phone and found two small pieces that I think will make you happy. I hope you like them! 🙂

Here is the first:post-2

And the second, to make sure it ends in hope, always:

post-1

 

THE RENEWAL (A SHORT STORY)

Hello everyone. I usually don’t write short stories because they end up being really graphic for some reason. This one below is no different. But I think no matter how optimistic we are, we need to still realistically acknowledge the world around us. So I hope you like it!


“Your body is a sacred temple and I want permission to it,” he smiled as he spoke.

She looked at the ground and smiled back as teardrops rolled down her cheek, one after another.

“Why are you smiling like that? Wait, why are you crying? Are you okay?!”

“Don’t worry it’s nothing.
It’s just that… No one ever asked before.”

He held her hands as she looked up to him; and the courage of the five oceans gathered inside one body as she opened her mouth to speak.

“They did not ask before they used me. They did not ask before they took my body like taking something off of a shelf whenever they felt like it. Not when they used me for their anger; not when they used me for their lust.”

“I know. But it’s okay now.” He tightened his grip around her hands and brought them to his chest.

“I have marks on my body of bruises that once were blue; scars from wounds that bled and the traces of hands that did not remember they had a God. I have the air from that locked, dark room inside my lungs. I have the sound of the man who whispered  “its only a game” in my ears and the man who screamed at the top of his lungs inches away from me, telling me I will be killed if I don’t shut up, if I do not stop crying after he beat me up. So shut up I did as they all got away with their actions.

I have been used over and over again and not one single time was I asked beforehand.”

“I know, my love, but I’d never use you. I am not them; even though I am a man. I did not marry you for that.”

“Then why did you marry me?” She looked back at him, replying to his gaze with a hopeful but afraid look in her eyes.

“Because… because you’re so much more. You’re more than the hands that made your skin go blue. You are more than the hands that didn’t know where to stop. You are more than filthy gazes and lies. You are more than forced obedience; or used goods.

Stars filled her eyes as he continued:

“You are human. You are kind, you are smart, you are gentle and mighty. You hold entire galaxies within you. You have no idea what you are. Not just to me but to the whole world.

So don’t you dare define yourself using incidents and people who do not deserve to even see your smile. You are not what happened to you. You are what happened by you. and I swear to God that makes you more beautiful than anyone I’ve ever known in my entire life. And your body, love, is not your prison. It is your home.”

 

To the woman who saved my life

(But couldn’t save her own)

“Verily, we belong to Allah and to Him we shall return”

I couldn’t get myself to write after you passed away.

I spent days and nights awake, crying; wondering if it was allowed for me to mourn your sudden death. I felt guilty, so damn guilty with every tear that came out of my eyes, you taught me how to be happy. It felt as if I was destroying your legacy. That I was ruining what you did for me, even when I knew you could not do it ever again.

You were the reason I got my life and light back, Allah chose you for that purpose. How could I be so selfish and needy in my humanness that I let you become the reason for my grief?

The first few days I kept calling your phone. Hoping every single time that it was some sort of huge misunderstanding, heck, even a stupid prank- anything but the truth!

I looked everywhere for answers, but found none. No one and nothing could tell me why it had to happen. Why did you have to save my life and lose your own? What was the purpose of the briefness of our acquaintance or friendship or love? Why did you touch my life when you had to be taken away?

For the first time in my life, I shut myself in. I hid, like a coward. Pretended to be okay. I acted like there was nothing wrong at all. I didn’t let anyone, not even my own self see my pain. I made the pain grey in hopes that the colours of the world will overpower it and it’ll just fade away. But that’s not what happened.

What happened was far worse.

In numbing myself towards the pain, I ended up being numb towards everything else too. The grey didn’t fade away it took over all else and suddenly the moon, stars and the laughter of little kids could not make me feel anything. The love I had in my life, of all kinds, stopped making sense, stopped feeling real. It was a downward spiral into nothingness and I had begun falling.

But then, as always, Allah found a way to get me back. One conversation, one best friend, a few hours and the walls just came crashing down. My heart was cut open again, bare and bleeding.

I missed you.

I loved you.

You were gone. And it hurt like hell.

But that was okay.

I found my answer. Why did you touch my life when you had to be taken away? Because verily, we belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. You were never mine to begin with. Allah didn’t take you away, Allah gave you to me. For whatever amount of time, just before He called you back to Him, He chose to let me know you. So basically, you weren’t my pain, Allah made you my blessing.

So you see, the focus has entirely changed and I’m finally happy again. I know if you could see me now you’d be so proud. And that’s when I miss you most- when I achieve something. I have become so much more beautiful than I ever dreamed of and I wish I had a way to thank you for that; but I know Allah must be taking care of that in your grave. I hope He gives you the highest spot in Jannah. Ameen.

But just between the two of us, I believe you’re still watching somehow. I hope you’re as proud of me as I am of myself. You should be proud of yourself too. Not many people around me even know you because they never even looked deep enough to know I was sick in the first place. And every time I laugh or do good or feel like the universe loves me I wish I could scream it out loud that you’re the reason I achieved this. I cannot talk about you now, because I cannot talk about my sickness.

But someday, I’ll make sure the whole world knows your name. I kept your business card and your last display picture on whatsapp.

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And I will remember never to.

Love always,
Maria