(Disclaimer: Not a traditional poem but I think it’s closer to the spoken word poetry category)
Decade, upon decade; I tell fate
Being loved by strangers catches me off guard,
Surprises me- “Is this what it is supposed to feel like?”
Is it really like they show in the movies?
Sisters, brothers, fathers and mothers
Is home really just people, who know and even care
about which side of the bed you like most.
Oh, I wouldn’t know, so don’t ask me how.
The only home that I have ever felt
lives outside of my house.
Out there, separated; from my blood.
Because on the genetic code map in these cells,
somehow, home was never marked.
I am sorry, dear home, for getting scared so easily
Not knowing where to go when you are not in my sights.
For I am still learning, how to receive all this love
that you so freely give me
As though I am actually as amazing as you say.
I try to hold on to the little amount these walls taught
Here, love was hiding and shutting up.
But then again, you are not like these walls.
You are kinder and you care.
You actually know which side of the seat I like most,
and how I sleep talk or “sleep type” sometimes.
I chuckle, and then sigh as I walk back inside
and these walls are still as cruel as before I met you.
I’m about to whisper to fate:
“Please make this stop, before I forget how to give love too.”
But I don’t, I can’t.
Cause you’re looking right at me
Smiling across the room.
And we both know, we finally understand this is what home feels like.
Wrote this a while ago. Ignore the bad handwriting. The first line says “jaam-e-qalb-e-muztar”. Just so you know 😛 I feel like that is the most badly written. What can I say I tried haha. I hope you liked it, it was my first qata’a (nukton wala qaaf+ Touain+ A’ain) Wow look how badly I have failed at trying to sound cool with my qata’a writing :3
FOR PEOPLE WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND URDU (And also for those who do):
I am really sorry I haven’t written a proper long post in so long. I actually am in the middle of a new “Dances With Insomnia” piece and it’s taking me some time, since Ramadan and all. But worry not, I am almost done and I am sure you will love it in sha Allah! It’s turning out pretty nicely. 🙂
Heyy people. Below is a poem I wrote over two years ago. As I am busy with exams and heaps of books, papers and pens these days I thought to leave you with this. It’s a sad one though :3 To make up for that, I’ll tell you that I’m super happy and blessed these days Alhamdulillah. I’m growing. Sad never lasts. So don’t lose hope.
With no further blabber, to glorify the agony of doubt- I give you, “Painted Face”:
From the mirror on the wall, it stares back at me- A pretty painted face for these strangers to see A monster struggling to breakthrough from within It must be put to sleep, to keep me from sin;
I have to turn away now, I’m frightened as can be For my teary eyes scream, that, what shakes my beliefs How long will I cry in empty rooms with closed doors? Bruised by people and their thoughts; what is my existence for?
The pain, it stays, like a spear through my heart Let us see if it eases as I turn it into words And let me find the sane voice in my head that once ruled; As a mind almost lost, makes the demons drool.