“THE PAST, THE PRESENT AND PROMISES”

Part 4 of “The Purge” series: 


 

I used to wear my halo
like the devil wears his pride
Well, look here, I broke it now
The truth, I will not hide.
No more never swearing
at assholes, no more smiles.
And when you say, ‘fuck you’
I say, ‘you’re too late to the party’

mmm…kay?

Did you think this would continue to rhyme?
No, it wouldn’t.

My slightly broken, slightly erratic,
badass-as-hell self, welcomes you!

This body is my turf now-
I will fill it with flowers,
paintings, and chandeliers made of dewdrops
… and healthy food maybe?
I will decorate the walls with awards:
“Congratulations on getting up today!”,
“Congratulations on working out!”
“Congratulations on not killing yourself, or wanting to!”
“Congratulations on making it this far”

I will tell it
that it does not have to bend, or break
every time somebody wants
to feed their ego with its cries.
You can go around me,
if I’m taking up too much space.

Now I won’t lie and act
like I don’t care anymore;
My heart still breaks
when a little kid fixes my car,
when babies are thrown away if their body parts,
do not conform to the rules of normalcy,
when you tell me that I’m
too damaged,
too erratic,
too caring,
too
much
me,

It stings.

And it stings most of all, to fight back.
It stings to let the light in
It stings to like being loved
It stings to not hate, loving me.

But watch as I do it any way.
For the darkness may be comfortable,
familiar,
even easy;

but the light,
oh the light!
When it runs through my veins like electricity,
I think,

I could do this forever,
And never get burnt.

20 thoughts on ““THE PAST, THE PRESENT AND PROMISES”

    1. Well I am feeling better, and yes this is a side of me most people don’t get to see but it has existed for a while now. After all my experiences in life, I still value kindness and helping others but there is no rule that obligates that we cannot feel bad things for people who completely crush us. So yeah I won’t justify the swearing or anything. I don’t have to be on the edge for it either; it happens when it happens
      But thank you for commenting and yes I am better now 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You don’t have to justify yourself. Sorry, if I offended you or something, I was just a little surprised by that side of yours. You are right about feeling bad things for the bad people. They totally deserve it and sometimes swearing kind of covers all the hate you feel for them… Be safe

        Liked by 1 person

      2. ❤❤ thank you so much for understanding! And it’s completely okay no apology needed. You be safe too and thank you for all the prayers 🙂 it means a lot to me that you read stuff I write and share your thoughts.

        Liked by 1 person

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