A Tribute to Maybes

Credits: Candle Noel Cranston

Maybe you make messiahs out of people because you do not want to be the one responsible when the world comes crashing down, and you don’t want to be alone.

Maybe it is okay to not help but start welling up when someone speaks too loud; like each wave of vibration from their voice causes an earthquake inside your skin and bones.

Maybe it is fine to miss people who went back to Allah too soon. Maybe it is just selfishness to miss them if they were here you could ask them for help and advice but maybe that’s okay. Maybe some people are sent only to give you, and not to love you and stay.

But maybe you are stronger than you think. You chose the difficult roads with big rewards at the end. For instance, If I hadn’t moved to a different country, back to where I never felt like I belonged, away from my parents and my little sister and the long drives at night; then how would I have met my best friend who changed my life? How would I have learnt to handle everything on my own, from finances to health and education, to official government procedures to fit into this new place? How would I know how “Veronica Decides to Die” can lead to whispering to myself, “I want to fight on for the better things ahead.”

Maybe the heaps of love you have in your heart for other people, makes being tortured and alone and sick, all worth it? And maybe the time of sickness is now gone, maybe now is the time for the sun to come up? Maybe having a dark past is alright, because of all the light it gave birth to, inside your chest, that now ruminates everywhere… And people think it is your smile that’s contagious.

Maybe it is okay to put flowers in your hair, because who cares if you world came tumbling down yesterday, let’s just sit and breathe the evening air and feel good. Because man, are you a badass! Maybe your hands tremble, maybe you cannot speak, or breathe or stand up sometimes; but hasn’t the frequency of such episodes decreased?

And maybe it is okay to be a tad bit super proud of yourself, for all that you’ve accomplished. Because maybe no one else could have done it like you. 


12 thoughts on “A Tribute to Maybes

  1. I saw the tag of ‘mental illness’ in your post and tbh I felt really sad or idk. Sad isn’t the right word i think. I feel.. Idk. I also tend to include the same tag in my posts but it didn’t feel good at all seeing in someone else’s post.

    Sorry for this ajeeb comment.

    I’ve rechecked and it’s mental health but still.

    AND Of course you’re a good writer. There’s no maybe in that 🙂 Keep writing sister 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First of all the sorry isn’t needed. Not one bit. I understand exactly what you mean. So it really is fine.
      And secondly thank you so much! I’m glad you think so. Pata hai this one I didn’t write for the sake of fancy words or anything (not that I ever write for just that). But there was just something in me that I had to let out. So yeah. Today was a difficult day and I’m glad I wrote something. And also your post was amazing too I can’t stop saying that haha 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think I know how it feels that’s why it was sad for me to read it.

        Glad that you let it out. Better than keeping it in.

        And you know what to do in order to feel better. Get closer to HIM. Things will get better Insha’Allah.

        Thanks again.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah I know you do.
        And yes, trying that always! Allah ta’ala is truly the best and Eternal Refuge. No one can replace Him. We’re blessed actually that we have Him close. Humare liye tou asaan hai khush hona. But we should also remember that He tests His people to make them strong in faith so we should just do well in these tests phir reward tou Usi ne dena hai na. Aur beshak jo Wo kehta hai ke acha hoga, wo waqayi kisi lihaaz se unsatisfying ho ho nahi sakta. So yeah let’s hope we get that it’s all gonna be worth it if Allah taala is happy with us. :’)

        Liked by 2 people

  2. The second last paragraph was so beautiful, it really struck a chord inside my heart.
    I took a screenshot of it cause I felt it on so many levels.
    This was a really great post, Maria.

    Liked by 1 person

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