First ever Urdu poem: “GUM”

If you want to know my thoughts about this, go here, because when I typed them together with it, it became a really long post, and I wanna keep this simple and raw. Enjoy. I will be eagerly waiting for any sort of constructive criticism and feedback. 🙂

Paharon ke neeche se aik rasta nikalta hai
Jata hai jaane kahan, waadi se guzar kar
Samait lo, chalo, jo hai ourhna bichona
Saath chalte hain apna chota sa wujood liye huay

Wahin waadi ki thandi goud mai basera kar lainge
Yahan shehr ki masnooiyat mai kia rakha hai
Faqat khokle log, unki khokli baatain
Aur dunya ko paane ki sulagti hawis

Zara socho kitna khaalis hoga wahan sukoon
Jahan bas hum honge, aur khuda ki khalkat
Apne haathon se banayen gai apna chota sa ghar
Eentt,upar eentt, saath paseena bahaate

Socho tou apni asliyat mai haseen honge hum
Muattar saansain, nange paoun, hawa se bikhre baal
Aur us par laparwah hansi, goya pooche
Akhir kahan chupa rakha tha, khud ko sab se ab tak?

Har shaam dekhain ge, sooraj ko ufaq par
Jaate jaate jab wo zameen ko bosa daiga
Aur chashme ke gaate paani se karainge wuzu
Phir jis khuda ka ehsan, uska lakhon shukar

Tou chalo wahan jahan koi humain jaanta na ho
Kia pata qismat nayi zaat hi ata kar de…

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14 thoughts on “First ever Urdu poem: “GUM”

  1. *HYPERVENTILATING*
    :O every little bit of this was just a massive dose of khoobsurati put to words.
    this makes me MORE prouder than your brain has capacity to ever imagine :$

    app ke urdu shayri ka ye aghaas (waisay tou ye bilkul bhi aghaas nahi lagata. It’s like your urdu-fanatic mind has always had poetry brewed within it. :’) ) hamesha yaad rahay ga! :$

    LET ME TELL YOU: THIS IS YOUR ORIGIN STORY.
    #LOVEDThisUtterlyAndTotallyAndJustAhhhh.
    (^pardon the hashtag 😛 )

    ( P.S. mrs rubina tou pakka ye parh ker behosh ho jain ge 😛 )

    *jumps awkwardly in joy :3 *

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hehehe YAYYYYYYY! 😀 I’m honored that you’re proud.
    Mujhe bhi yaad rahega! 😛 itna sudden tha! Dua karo I continue writing Urdu.
    Thank you Thank you thank you I Love you utterly and totally too :’)

    Unko parha do tou mai tumhari ehsanmand rahoun!
    (i was also jumping awkwardly in joy when it happened)

    ❤ much love.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. loogoon nay to paras likh diyai hain 😛
    hum bhi kuch kah dain? 🙂 some small comment is better than no comment ? 😀
    haina?

    The volcano of AWESOMENESS sometimes erupts this POEM is just one of those times! ❤
    Loved the poem form the title "GUM" till that "…" in the end! :')
    This post was truly amazing….my imagination was going wild when reading this..I felt thrilled! ^_^
    Btw I don't think this was your first time 😛 I think it was your first time letting it out.
    (shairee ka fawwara LOL XD)

    update blog more often ,_,oka?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ویہں وادی کی ٹھنڈی گود میں بسیرا کرلینگے
    یہاں شہر کی مصنوعیت میں کیا رکھا ہے۔۔
    فقط کھوکلے لوگ انکی کھوکلی باتیں
    اور دنیا کو پانے کی سلگتی ہوس۔۔

    YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS NAZM IS? Beautiful, beautiful imagery. Har shaam dekhaingy sooraj ko ufaq par! Socho tou apni asliyat me haseen hony hum!! Wadi ki thandi goud, moattar sansain, nangay paaon. Us par, la-parwah hansi! Man. How did you.
    There’s this one by Iqbal which is my fave, ‘Aik Aarzoo’. Which has something like, daman me koh ke aik chota sa jhonpra ho. Azad fikr se hun, khilwat me din guzarun, dunya ki fikr ka dil se kanta nikal gaya ho… It reminded me of that. Your use of scenic words is wonderful, and so is the effect it creates. One could get lost. And think. And be.
    Another thing that I must say, I loved the “thoughts” on that other post. Your description of its experience was just as mesmeric, and I loved the way you defined it. (I love people who love Urdu!) I really hope you would write more. It would be great! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Gracias Shukran Shukriyaa!! 😀 Four languages see how much your comment means to me? 😛
      And umm I still don’t know myself like this one was such a surprise for me as well 😀 The best kind, of course, alhamdulillah ❤ I hope insha Allah aur urdu poems bhi likh sakoun.

      AND, maybe I'm reading too much into this but did you just get reminded of Iqbal's poem by something that I, Mariaaa, wrote? :O Whaaaaaatt. Thank you so much!! :') "One could get lost. And think. And be." Best lines.

      Ji maine Iqbal ki abhi abhi ja ke parhi "aik arzoo" It is amazing the words he used blew me away. I wanted to be inside that poem, to be honest. See and feel what he felt that place would be like. Aise hi tou nahi itne mashoor Allama Iqbal. :')

      Thank you! I hope I write more Urdu poetry too 🙂 I love your Urdu work too btw! So I'm glad that both Maria's like each other. :p hahaha I love the fact that you found my blog because it kinda is amazingg to know you exist, hum-naam! 😀

      Like

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