The reason I write about nature is because that is where God put all the answers.
I held a little red brick
In my little kid arms
And I walked on, miles
till the sun came down.
And I did this for days
little labour it looked like
that a little kid bore
But I built a palace
like never seen before.
Then one night came spring
It knocked on the gate
I welcomed it in
But it left the next day.
And I glanced up at the tower
Where I’d lived so long
And what fell in my feet
Was a little red brick.
One by one
they tumbled down
And the walls of my palace,
like broken doors now.
To the gardens I ran,
only to find
that little red dewdrops
now covered the green.
Confused and disheartened,
I turned around
Glanced at my chest,
and pain I found
Flowing in the form
of a swift red river.
The “dewdrops” had not come from the sky
And the bricks had not fallen from the towers
But my castle had crumbled down
And my blood had washed it away;
Just little red bricks
In a swift red river;
Leading into an endless sea.
Wujood ko tou sirf mohabbat karna ata hai. Ishq? Ishq tou zaat karti hai. Isi liye jab rooh Khuda ke paas jaye, tou wujood ko dunya mai chor ke jati hai. Kyunke wujood dunya ka hissa hai, yaheen bheja gaya, yaheen kaam aya aur yaheen mitti mai mil gaya. Hisab tou zaat ka hoga. Aur yoon, jo wujood ki chahaton ka ghulam hua, samjho wo nakaam thehra. Aur jis ne zaat paa li, usne ishq kiya. Aur yehi ishq usay Khuda ki mohabbat ka haqdaar bana deta hai.
Ye theek hai ke Khuda ke ilawa kisi se ishq nahi kiya ja sakta, lekin ye bhi sach hai ke agar insan dunya ki mohabbat Khuda ke ishq ke wajib karda usoolon aur aqaid se chaanne ya guzaarne ke baad kare; tou beshak Khuda us mohabbat ko bhi ishq jesa mazboot bana deta hai, aur ishq jesa sukun bakhsh. Gharz ye ke jab jab tumhe izterab mehsoos ho, tou samjho sirf mohabbat hai. Aur jab jab sukun milay, tou samajh jao ke ishq hai. Aur agar usay kho dene ka dar lagay, tou phir, sirf mohabbat hai. Aur agar andha aitemaad ho, tou ishq.
Par insaan siyah aur safaid par nahi chalta. Insan tou dono ka milaap hai. Insan bhool hai. Insan tauba hai. Bas jab mohabbat ho, tou wujood ki chahat maan ke tauba karo. Aur jab ishq ho, tou uske imtehanon ke liye tayyar raho; sajde ki talwaar aur dua ki dhaal samait, datt jao. Kyunke jo tum kehte phiro ge, Khuda uska imtehan zaroor le ga. Ye tou sadiyon pehle bata diya tha Us ne. (Surah Ankabut, ayah 2-3)
Ishq ka pehla qadam tawakkul hota hai, yaani yaqeen. Aur har mushkil mai sabse ziada isi ka imtehan leta hai Khuda. Isi tarah tou wo munaafiqat ko haq se, aur wujood ko zaat se alag karke dikhata hai.
Kayi baar, tumhare ishq ko wujood lalkaare ga. Kayi baar tum wujood ki maan bhi lo ge. Lekin gir ke sambhalna hi imaan ka suboot hai. Ahista Ahista, tumhare wujood ko zaat zaroor mil jayegi.
Weeps my heart and weeps December
I hope that you will always remember
The pearl you held in your palm, white
Back when our fire burned bright
I wonder when it burned us both
Ought to give warmth, but turned us both
Into strangers, running on parallel paths
Through the moon’s eclipse and the night’s wrath
Oh when will the stars come out again?
Oh when will the dawn of hope begin?
I will meet you then, at the first sunrise
Where the abyss collides with paradise
I’ll show my book of adventures to you
And you’ll find your home, with my chaos too
’til it’s calm like the breeze your soul brings
And we shall be made of beautiful things
But first, oh love, we must get through
The trials fate birthed, maybe to prove
The strength of our faith in what we hold
How brave we are and just how bold
Let the season weep! We shall endure
In the end, our hearts will have only loved more.
(Fun fact: I came up with the first verse of this poem 8 months ago, in December; and didn’t want to change that just now when I wrote the rest of it. Hope you liked it! :))
You ask me why I don’t get angry?
It’s because I’ve watched my world burn
To ashes and smoke
Over and over and over again
And I’ve washed the blood trails
Of my wounds
Left on the flowers on my shirt
With my own hands
And I’ve lost my brother
To his hatred of another
And in any love they give
There is none left as mine
And I’ve loved those
Who broke me from up close
And yet I still love
With as fierce a love as any
That could survive being blown up
In landmines; maybe in this faded love
There is more strength
Than the love that allows free taking
As if divine
And with every passing year
I’ve paid for their sins
With my honour and shame, and
A streak of heartbreaks
And trust broken.
So don’t ask me why I don’t get angry
Because I am angry
Maybe just starting to be
Or maybe I’ve been
For a long time
But I have been hurt too
And pushed to the brink of survival
From where only my miracles could get me back
And how they did.
Oh, how they did!
So maybe I am burnt
And very much so,
But I am also reborn
My spirit, rekindled
And if my love can survive landmines
Then mere anger, holds no chance
I am going to try
Until it bends before me
And turns into determination
And fierce as it may be
It will be called mine.
And I’m going to hold on
“Just a little more”,
A thousand more times.
Hello everyone! I hadn’t written here in a long time because I think I was not brave enough to accept some things. I hope that this piece of spoken word poetry (arguably the most unapologetic kind of poetry) makes up for that. And I hope you liked it! 🙂
There are some people we meet that are destined to make us failures. They’re part of our losses and pains.
But you? You’re part of my win. And I don’t mind if it takes me my whole life to get to that win, I will get there. Because when the universe does us favours, we don’t give them up. We don’t let go.
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